We’ve all experienced it at some point in our lives. We’ve seen it, we’ve heard it, we’ve witnessed it, we’ve reaped the rotten fruits of its harvest.
Even the words, sitting there by themselves, hold a certain dark forboding.
What is it that triggers this emotional reaction in us women? I’ll tell you.
The feeling of inadequacy. The feeling of failure. The feeling of not adding up.
In short, comparison.
These self destructive thoughts reap a rotten harvest in our minds. I have seen it with my own eyes, a happy individual going about their life when, they let a little whisper creep into their mind….”she’s better than you” …and like yeasts in the mind, that one little thought multiplies into a cluster of self destruction… she’s skinnier than you, she’s prettier than you, she’s more important than you, she’s funnier than you, she’s smarter than you…she’s more worthy than you.
Let me tell you, I have learned that there are two kinds of women in the world. Ones that are susceptible to jealousy, and ones that are addicted to eliciting jealousy out of others.
Just because you can make another person feel inferior, doesn’t make you superior.
There is a reason jealousy, or envy, is written about so heavily in the bible. Because it’s satan’s most powerful tool to put a block between us and Jesus. Not to mention, it WILL affect your health.
Proverbs 14:30 “a sound heart is life to the body, but envy rots the bones”
What an ugly word. But it’s so true, when you’re envious, you’re unhappy with yourself, you push away your friendships and relationships, you isolate yourself, or you fraternize only with other miserable people who will gladly join in on your misery…you literally self destruct and that’s exactly how satan designed envy to work.
He WANTS you to self destruct.
Everyone in life has made different choices and has different journeys. That friend of yours who has a bigger house, maybe she and her husband were super frugal when they first got married, maybe she’s waited 25 years for that house and lived in a shoebox apartment prior, she might work and put her kids in daycare to afford it. None of this makes her any better or any worse than you, it just means she made different choices.
Your cousin who is having babies left and right while you struggle with infertility, maybe God’s teaching you His timing, maybe He’s trying to show you a special gift of adoption, maybe He has a specific child that you’re supposed to adopt and raise, maybe that child you adopt will grow up to be president.
You’re struggling to lose weight while your friend remains naturally thin. This one is tough for us women, isn’t it? But trust me when I say this, your thin friend has her areas of self consciousness too. Being thin doesn’t necessarily always mean being happy. Show grace.
Your brother and his wife just bought a new SUV while you drive a clunker? You can sit and fester in jealousy, hate your brother and surround yourself in a cloak of misery…or you can sit down and make a plan.
It’s a choice. Sometimes it’s a hard choice. But when God tells us to take up our cross, He didn’t mean take up your fluffy, strawberry scented, ornamental cross….he meant take up your heavy thorny burden that cuts into your flesh, put your head down and follow. Follow blindly, but follow.
For some people their cross is jealousy. It rules their lives, their relationships, their careers….but it doesn’t have to.
You are not a slave to every thought that enters your mind.
Make the choice to set yourself free! Before you succumb to the snare of envy, consider the journey the other person has traveled to get to the places they are. You will open yourself up to a whole new world of peace that you never knew possible.
We are all worthy. We are all worth it. We are all equal at the end of the day.